I still can’t believe you’re gone, baby. I didn’t expect it to be this painful. In the past day since you’ve been gone, I don’t know how I’m going to cope. I miss your sweet face. The room doesn’t feel complete without you trying to climb up the bed to peer at me.
I don’t know how to start this letter. This past day all I’ve done is compose things in my head. There’s too much to say. I want to talk about my sorrow, but also want to remember all the great things that Clydie was.
Let me start with this. I wrote about my love for Max and Clyde back in October, wanting to profess my love for them. Little did I know it would be my memoriam for Clyde. The space there was limited, so only a few important details were told. But today, as I mourn Clyde, I’d like to tell our story. Maybe then it will help me hurt less. In 2010, I decided I wanted Max to have a companion, but I didn’t want those brand new super cute pups. I wanted a “reject” dog. I searched online for him and found him at 11 months.
The seller warned me that he was ugly, not like the other dogs, which caught my interest even more. I remember when I arrived, Clyde was standing on a table, scrawny and dirty, but smiling so wide his smile reached his eyes. I wonder what he was thinking as I walked away, got back in my car and started looking at other option. Yet, while at Cartimar, amdist all the adorable dogs, I couldn’t get Clyde out of my mind. I went back, he got in the car with me and sneezed in my face, the Max usually does. Then settled into my lap.
It was like we were made for each other. When I remember how neglected Clyde looked then, and recall how fat anf furry and handsome he was during the last months before he got sick, I feel blessed that God gave me the opportunity to be with him. From then on, I fell head over heels in love with Clyde. Although my heart was full of Max and I’d gotten Clyde mainly so that Max would have a playmate, Clyde had somehow climbed his way in. I didn’t expect to fall so much in love with Clyde, just like I didn’t expect him to fall sick and pass away in a matter of two short months. Maybe that’s why I kept taking so many pictures of him. More than I’d ever done with Max. Because our time together would be short. And somehow, now that he’s gone, I know that my sole purpose in his life was to make him a happy boy. My friend warned me that with the way Clyde looked, and his living conditions, he might just die on me. And true enough, his two years stay with me, he was quite sickly. He eventually did die on me. But I believe that I made his life so happy, but not nearly as much as he’s made mine so full of joy.